YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR

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YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...

• if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
• if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
• if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
• if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
• if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.
• if it is sunny and 72 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
• if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
• if you always do homework on Friday nights.
• if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
• if you think in "math."
• if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
• if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
• if you have a pet named after a scientist.
• if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
• if you can translate English into Binary.
• if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."
• if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
• if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
• if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
• if when your teacher/professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
• if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
• if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
• if you understood more than five of these indicators.
• if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

If these indicators apply to you, there is good reason to suspect that you might be classified as a physics major. I hope this clears up any confusion.